someone's going to steal my heart while you're making up your mind

I HATE people who tell me what I am feeling or what I am going through.
Young and/or old people are always telling me that I'm happy, upset,
angry, pms-ing, that my face is turning red. Why the hell do people do that?
Its my effing life! Stop judging me and my emotions.

i dont want to be the one
that you coming running to
when someone runs
away from you

i thought i wanted to find you, when i guess all i ever wanted was for you to see me. find ME. want ME. love ME. not her. not anyone else. because i COULD love you.

tonight the sky cries the tears

tonight the sky cries the tears.
my body wont let me.
i know i shouldnt
waste my time
or energy
or tears
on you.
the rain pours down anyway.
i thank the rain for knowing
what i need.
you didnt...

i used to ache for you while you were with her.
now i ache becacuse i realize you only wanted me while you were with her.
never did you want me when you could've had me.
whats wrong with you?

friday the 13th
i saw you.
you looked well.
how can i ever tell
why you left
by the photo in the paper?
my heart found an answer.
is my answer
the reason you left?
why did you leave me?

We did belong once.
for a moment in time.
i bet my eyes glistened.
i couldn't tell by your face,
if you loved me.
i think i loved you.
lost in a moment
we were.
it seemed

Today I hate everyone. everything anyone does gets on my nerves and sends rage through my skin and I don't know who I want to hurt more, me or them. I can't help it.

To Chris

"You fill me with passion, hate, excitement, fear, joy.. All at once. When I'm around you sometimes its hard for me to breath I am so filled with different emotions. And don't take it the wrong way. It terrifies me because I don't know what that means.. I haven't ever felt that before and scares me a little"This is what I would say to him if I ever had the guts to do it.

I hate that when I found out my aunt died you were the one person I wanted to see or talk to and you ignored me. I hate that when I'm sad all I want to do is talk to you and you would rather be out with your friends. I hate that your the kind of guy who will make a plan and then never talk about it again and I'm stupid enough to think that you would actually follow through with it. I hate that no matter how mad I am at you that I never want to give you up when I never even had you to begin with because your my best friend and I'm just another clingy girl that you rarely hang out with

when i ask how your day was
im reallky asking how you can live without me near you

of course
because i wanted you
while you wanted her
you'd never want me
if you did want me
i wouldnt WANT you
i'd HAVE you
instead of you having her
and not me

I miss being able to talk to someone. So much I want to cry. First I talked to brandon, then chris, then chris, then steve. Now I have no one. I feel I will be alone forever and I will be trapt in my head for all eternity. I lost my best firend 2 weeks ago, and my true best friend is moving to the other side of the continent in 5 days. I'm alone in my life right now. I want to cry all the time. My heart is broken not from love but the lack of even friendship. I try to tell my mother things but it never comes out right and she always ends up judging me

I found this quote online the other day, I like it.

We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved. ~Author Unknown