February 14th

Valentines Day.
This is my least favorite day. Mostly because of Facebook.
This is the day we single ladies get to watch all the happy happy couples ring in Valentines Day with the ones they love.
We get to see all of them talk about what they got or what they did or how romantic their loved one is...
oh yay.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it... is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine, from the movie Captain Corelli's Mandolin

One of these days you will realize how big of a douche you have been and realize my world doesn't revolve around you anymore. it hasn't in years.. grow up!

I need someone to want me

perfection isnt necessary for us to love anyone. its those moments. those glints of light in their eyes that reminds you that you ARE important and someone actually SEES you. no matter how faint or infrequent or quick those moments are, they happen.

tonight i finally found out which guy was going to ask me to senior prom. i was the idiot that told the friend that told me, to tell him i didnt want to go. why do i do this to myself?! he was a really nice guy.
and it just goes to show you, that you never know who sees you.

when a guy says "i love your friendship", you're doomed. friend zone. BANG.

In a way, it's been you all along. In another way, it will never be you.

I think i've unleashed my talents too soon.
all the yuck annoying girls from highschool that are married all had to learn to be awesome after they got married. i dont understand this.
and i have always had the talents and am generally awesome and nobody wants me?

does your heart skip a beat whenever you see me too? just wondering

I saw your dad the other day. He was driving a small pickup truck, like you drive/drove. I wonder, was this your truck?

"Sometimes people are beautiful
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are."
-Markus Zusak (I am the Messenger, book)

I love that there's a part of me deep down inside that if untamed, would destroy everything. I call it my "lifetime movie self" because people on lifetime movies never hold back. they always strike out and do exactly what they wish they could do no matter who it hurts or what the consequences. I know better. The better part of me keeps this part way deep down inside. Safe. It's a little empowering knowing that something wants out but isn't being given to the power to do so.

text

There are days I pospone opening your text for fear of the day you will say you hate me